February 2012
Was hoping to stay in and get lots of glorious sleep, but now I have to go out to some dumb-ass masquerade thing.
UGH.
Also, if you’re a girl you can get away with anything in a strip club.
I licked every single dancer tonight, had my hands all over EVERYTHING, and basically made out with two of them.
Sucks to be a guy, since they aren’t even supposed to touch them.
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I’ve stayed out until 5am every weekend this semester.
This time we went out to a few different bars, then a trashy strip club (I got the most personal attention), then this shitty diner.
What even is my college education.
Craving a hotdog.
This never happens to me.
Usually I crave weird shit like liverwurst and scrapple and haw.
HOT. DOG. NOW.
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Walking back from class, I kept whispering “boner control” in different accents and then cracking up.
By myself.
Alone.
People here probably think I’m absolutely insane.
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37. Contact Lens Solution: Did you get something on your contact, but you don’t have saline solution handy? Clean it with some expressed breastmilk!
source
57. Sexual Lubricant: Express breastmilk and use it as you would any lubricant.
source
stumblebum29 replied to your post: I think I need to shower. Ugh. This is one of…
That’s not sexy. Just sayin.
As if I give a fuck.
I think I need to shower.
Ugh.
This is one of the most annoying parts of being alive.
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Just discussed my comps with my advisor. He was so surprised that I can actually write well, and sat there beaming through the entire thing.
NO SHIT I GOT FUCKIN SKILLS.
Anonymous asked: post boobs for a minute again pLEASe
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Guy from Chicago I’ve been rejecting and then ignoring for months just found my school email address and messaged me a long, soul-searching glob.
UGH.
WHY.
diabetic-homeless-hookers replied to your post: Every fucking time Randy Jr. has his little…
I want to be a creeper and look in your window.
I’m not wearing pants, so feel free if you want to see a whole mess of thigh.
Every fucking time Randy Jr. has his little friends over they end up on the roof and looking in my window.
GO LOOK AT PORN LIKE NORMAL GUYS JESUS FUCK
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Ended up going out for four hours with DS after seminar.
We always use going into town for fast food as an excuse to hang out.
This friendship is going to make me fat.
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Oh shit class is in an hour now I really do have to write this thing ok bye
Spookshow, baby!: vagabonne:... →
vagabonne:
diabetic-homeless-hookers:
vagabonne:
diabetic-homeless-hookers said: I want to see a weird linebacker baby picture.
I’m the gross pale one trying to put my friend in a headlock. This is when half of my blonde hair had fallen out and the other half was brown….
U CHUT UP.
YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
I WAS SO GROSS. NOT CUTE.
AND DEFINITELY NOT HOT EVER.
When I wasn’t beating up my little friends, I was either quietly reading by myself or wandering in the woods.
I was such an antisocial little creep.
grrrowling replied to your post: I was also an extremely aggressive child. I…
i was sneakily aggressive. this girl pissed me off when i was about 5, so i bit her until she bled. my mum was really mad and asked me why i did it, so i said her arm fell into my mouth.
That’s amazing! I tended to say that it wasn’t my fault they were so weak.
diabetic-homeless-hookers:
vagabonne:
diabetic-homeless-hookers said: I want to see a weird linebacker baby picture.
I’m the gross pale one trying to put my friend in a headlock. This is when half of my blonde hair had fallen out and the other half was brown. Also, my nipples were really pale back in the day, and my lips were a completely different color. HMMM.
hahahaha you look insane
...
I was also an extremely aggressive child.
I fought with people for fun, and my mom was always getting calls from my friends’ parents to come pick me up because I would just fucking destroy those kids.
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diabetic-homeless-hookers said: I want to see a weird linebacker baby picture.
I’m the gross pale one trying to put my friend in a headlock. This is when half of my blonde hair had fallen out and the other half was brown. Also, my nipples were really pale back in the day, and my lips were a completely different color. HMMM.
Looking back, I’ve never actually been cute.
I was a weird-looking baby (built like a linebacker) and bald until I was 2. Results? No cute baby pictures.
Then I had curly blonde hair for a while, but that looked weird on me. It eventually fell out and was replaced by brown waves. Still looked like I should be recruited for football instead of ballet.
I was still heavy and short until I...
blo:
i hate it when you look at old pictures of yourself and you think of how much better you used to look
ALL THE TIME.
floodedfields replied to your post: deadsymmetry replied to your photo: So pretty….
Not in that picture of you, you don’t. You look like a fairy.
The picture I just posted? That’s not me, she’s the cute one I wish I resembled.
deadsymmetry replied to your photo: So pretty. Wish I looked like her.
Are you serious?
Yeah. She’s cute, which I don’t think I ever manage. Apparently I always look arrogant and imposing.
Why can’t I have a nice smile?
I always just look like I’m baring my teeth.
