Apparently some bro killed a goat while wearing women’s clothing after doing bath salts.

WTF I never did shit like that on it.

I wish I had never loved anyone so I didn’t know what I was missing out on.

When I was little I once went to Friendly’s with CK and her family. They were new in town, having recently moved to the Northeast from Texas. While we were waiting for our food I looked over and saw a tick on her neck. I pointed it out, and she started crying hysterically.

She and her mother went to the bathroom to remove it; I could hear her screaming from my seat.

Never bothered talking to that one again.

I pooped in front of McFly and now he’s looking at me like I’m some kind of freak.

Oh my god do they not poop in front of him?

Have I just scarred him for life?

This is why I should never have children.